{"id":1371,"date":"2023-04-04T08:34:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-04T15:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pastorfred.blogsite.org\/?p=1371"},"modified":"2023-04-04T09:11:23","modified_gmt":"2023-04-04T16:11:23","slug":"political-mind-reading","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/?p=1371","title":{"rendered":"Political Mind Reading"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> Recently I somehow developed telepathic powers. I am now able to receive the <b>true thoughts<\/b> of political candidates as they seek election or re-election. <\/p>\n<ul class=\"org-ul\">\n<li><b>Republican seeking re-election:<\/b> Vote for me, because I really like my job.<\/li>\n<li><b>Democrat seeking office:<\/b> Vote for me because you deserve to get screwed.<\/li>\n<li><b>Libertarian party member seeking office:<\/b> Vote for me and you can smoke all the pot you want.<\/li>\n<li><b>Actual libertarian seeking office (seems like there&#8217;s one of these out there somewhere):<\/b> Vote for me and I promise I&#8217;ll work myself out of a job.<\/li>\n<li><b>Conservative seeking office:<\/b> Vote for me and I promise nothing will ever change.<\/li>\n<li><b>Liberal seeking office:<\/b> Vote for me and you can all come work for Uncle Sam.<\/li>\n<li><b>Neo-Con seeking office:<\/b> Vote for me &#x2014; there are still a few countries we haven&#8217;t attacked.<\/li>\n<li><b>Progressive seeking office:<\/b> Vote for me: there are still some traditional values we haven&#8217;t become offended at.<\/li>\n<li><b>Socialist seeking office:<\/b> Vote for me! I&#8217;ll make sure nobody makes any obscene profits providing you with stuff you want!<\/li>\n<li><b>Communist seeking office:<\/b> Vote for me and when the revolution comes you will all eat strawberries and cream. Even if you don&#8217;t like strawberries and cream.<\/li>\n<li><b>Fascist seeking office:<\/b> Vote for me and you&#8217;ll never have to worry your little head about voting again!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What political candidates are <i>really<\/i> thinking.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,26],"tags":[49],"class_list":["post-1371","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-politics","tag-satire","has-excerpt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1371","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1371"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1371\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1380,"href":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1371\/revisions\/1380"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1371"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1371"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goodnews.homedns.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1371"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}