“What?” said Julie, surprised. “How do you know that?”
Mike looked at them. “Did you hear about that girl that killed herself up behind Bowles Hall?” he asked.
“About three years ago?” asked Richard.
“Yes,” said Mike. “You know I like to walk. Rich and I used to go on some long walks when we were in school together. So when I got here I started taking walks up past the stadium and up behind Bowles Hall.
“One night last October there was a full moon. I was walking along and suddenly it got really cold. It was like mid-winter. The air became really clear. It was like everything had turned to crystal. I hadn’t worn a coat because it wasn’t cold when I started. Now I began walking faster to stay warm.
“I kept looking out at the moon in the west. It gleamed on the smooth nighttime water of the bay. It had never seemed so close and real, like I could touch it. But at the same time it looked really blue and cold. Then I noticed something ahead. There was someone up there.
“You know how it is when you walk and are alone with your thoughts, you don’t like it when you come across another person, especially when there’s no one else around. So I started walking even faster to get past her—I saw that it was a girl. I’m not much better at talking to girls than Rich is,” Mike said to Julie.
“Then I realized that she had something around her neck. I got closer and saw that it was a rope and it was tied around a tree. She was getting ready to jump down the hill.
“I started running towards her. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to spook her into jumping. At the same time I was terrified that she would jump before I got there. I rushed over and tried to grab her. But my hand passed right through her.
“It felt like every hair on my body stood straight up. My hand got really cold. I was already cold but this was freezing.
“I came close to jumping back in surprise, and I almost fell down the hill myself. But I caught myself and looked again at the girl.
“She was looking at me. Her hair was pitch black, except where the moon shone on it. Her face was pale, in fact dead white. Her eyes were pure white except the centers were pure black. She was literally monochrome. There was not a hint of pink anywhere about her.
“I noticed that the rope wasn’t around her neck anymore. In fact it wasn’t there at all, but I didn’t notice that at first. I couldn’t really figure out what she was wearing. It was almost like fog. It seemed like a semi-transparent gauze. But you couldn’t see her body through her clothes. Instead, you could see what was on the other side of her.
“After a minute I realized she was talking. It was very quiet, a kind of crooning. It seemed repetitious but I couldn’t actually hear it. I tried to talk to her. ‘Who are you?’ I asked.
“She seemed to focus on me a little more and she stopped crooning. She even seemed to solidify somehow. ‘I’m Annie,’ she replied.
“I didn’t know what to say, so I asked her if she was all right. I didn’t know what I would do if she said she wasn’t, but I wanted to keep talking to her. She was beautiful and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I think her voice must have touched some early memories of lullabys or something, because it gave me a sweet, piercing longing that brought tears to my eyes.
“She was starting to, uh, firm up, and she began talking to me. ‘How can people be so cruel?’ she said. She seemed to say it over and over again, but I’m almost sure she only said it once. It seemed to be something she had said a lot, or had been saying for a long time.
“I found myself telling her that I would never be cruel to her. I think I was just babbling, talking to talk. Then I told her that she was beautiful and anyone who would mistreat her was crazy. She gazed at me, really hard. ‘What’s your name?’ she asked.
“I told her my name. ‘Will you come back again?’ she asked. ‘Yes, whenever you want,’ I replied. ‘Goodbye,’ she said. Then she faded, quickly growing more transparent until she was gone.
“I felt like I was waking up from sleep or something. Then I realized that the fog was moving in. It soon became too thick to see more than a few feet in any direction. And that was it, for that night.”
“Are you sure…” began Julie.
“I wasn’t sure of anything. I went home. The next day I tried to find out if anyone had died up there. I found out that a girl named Annie Inoue had committed suicide a few years ago. I found a picture of her and it was something like the girl I had seen. And I hadn’t heard about her, and I couldn’t remember seeing her picture before that.
“I decided to go up again that night. The moon was still full, and I went up as soon as it got really dark. I could hardly wait to get up there. I had spent the whole previous night thinking about it. I had barely slept. And I’d spent the whole day trying to see if I could find out if there had really been an Annie and who she had been.
“When I got there I again felt the coldness I had felt the previous night. She was there again, with the rope around her neck. As soon as I saw her, she seemed to see me. The rope disappeared again. She gave a half-smile. When she smiled my hair stood up almost as bad as it did the last time when I tried to touch her. I’m convinced that there’s some sense we have that directly perceives the supernatural. Every time I’ve seen her my hair has stood up, even after I’d gotten used to her.
“Anyway when she smiled I felt a cold chill again but at the same time I felt a longing. It wasn’t sex. I wasn’t attracted to her body—I couldn’t even see her body. I just felt like I wanted to be with her. I walked over to her and said, ‘I’m back.’
” ‘You really came,’ she replied. ‘He never came back.’
“Again I had that sense of her saying something over and over again but at the same time only saying it once. I said, ‘Are you Annie Inoue?’
” ‘Yes,’ she answered. ‘How did you know?’
” ‘I looked it up. And I have a picture.’ I showed her the picture I’d gotten from the newspaper.
” ‘That’s me!’ she exclaimed.
“I noticed that the more she talked the more solid-looking she became. I could hardly see through her at all now.
” ‘Tell me what happened,’ I said. ‘How did you wind up here?’
“She looked at me. Her face became bleak, her expression cold and hard. Not angry exactly, but unforgiving.
” ‘I loved him. We used to come here. Then I came one night by myself and I saw him with another girl. I could have killed him. But instead…’
“She was fading and the rope was back around her neck. ‘Please don’t go!’ I exclaimed.
“She looked at me again and her face seemed to regain some life. ‘Are you in love?’ she asked.
“I said, ‘Yes,’ before I could even think about it. I meant with her. Her eyes widened a bit. She flowed over to me. She didn’t seem to actually walk, but she didn’t float. She just moved without seeming to move at all. Anyway she got real close to me. She put out her hand and touched my arm. I didn’t actually feel her hand but my arm got really cold where she seemed to touch it, even though I was wearing a jacket. Her eyes were right in front of mine. Her face was three inches away from mine. If she had been a real girl I would have kissed her but I knew it would be futile, and I also felt that it wasn’t necessary.
“I looked into her eyes and I could see stars reflected in them. Maybe I could see the stars through them, I’m not sure. I could see the moon in her hair. I looked over her shoulder at the sky and looked back at her. It was as if we were the only two people in an immense, beautiful universe full of stars.
“I don’t know how long we stood like that, wordless. I didn’t want to move. I think what happened was that I wasn’t breathing often enough or something, because I suddenly got dizzy. I guess I might have passed out. I’m sure I wasn’t out for very long, but when I woke up, she had vanished.
“The next night I went again. The moon wasn’t quite full any more, and, much to my disappointment, she didn’t appear.
“I went there every night but didn’t see her for several weeks. I was starting to believe that it had been a hallucination, but then the moon became full again, and she was there. And the same thing happens every time. She’s there two or three nights out of the month when the moon is full, and the rest of the time she’s not there. We talk and talk and talk when she’s there and I can hardly remember anything we say.”
Mike stopped speaking and stared out the window, his eyes focusing on distant, invisible images.
“Well, that’s an interesting story,” said Richard, somewhat unenthusiastically.
“It’s incredible!” said Julie. “Can you believe it, Rich? I’ve wondered all my life if there really was an invisible world, and your friend is actually experiencing it!”
“Mike, I’m not saying you’re trying to fool us, but isn’t it possible that something else is going on?” asked Richard.
“Of course,” replied Mike. “You have to understand that every time I leave, I feel like I’m waking up from a dream—or falling asleep. Everything is so intense when I’m with her, and this life is so drab by comparison. Being with her just doesn’t fit with reality. My reason tells me that I have to live in reality, so how can I put any faith in this? But something else tells me that if there’s no room in reality for what I experience with her, I don’t want reality.”
Julie said, “Do you think we could see her? Would she appear for someone else besides you?”
“I don’t know.” Mike paused. “I guess I don’t see why not. But I don’t think it would be wise for you to go with me….”
“Oh, right,” said Julie.
“Not the first time anyway. If Rich wants to come….”
Richard was scowling but it was more a leftover scowl than actual displeasure. “I don’t want to get involved with this unless you are willing for me to be objective,” he said. “I’m not going to burst your bubble and have you mad at me for the rest of my life.”
Mike gave a half-smile. “I’ve burst yours often enough. Turnabout is fair play.” Mike was referring to the fact that he and Richard had many discussions in which Richard had come up with idealistic but impractical ideas for solving the world’s problems and Mike had poked holes in them.
“OK,” said Richard. “But Mike, can you be honest about something?”
“I’m not,” replied Mike.
“OK,” said Richard.
“Huh?” said Julie.
“I’m not taking any drugs,” said Mike. “And I haven’t except that one time. You know I don’t like not being in control.”
“I didn’t think so, but I felt I had to ask. Anyway, the next full moon, I guess we’ll go take a look.”