In a discussion I participated in this week, someone said that if we try our best, that’s enough to make us OK with God. (If you are reading this and you’re the one who said this, please don’t be offended. Your comment was relevant and made me think hard. Not many comments inspire a “Last Word” article!)
I realized that this left open the question: Have I tried my best? Can I honestly say I have tried my best? Thinking of my parenting, I remembered times when I had put my convenience ahead of my kids or even mistreated them for one reason or another. I cringe to think of those moments and pray that God would mitigate the bad effects of my not doing my best as a parent. Similarly for how I’ve treated my wife.
In fact, I can think of no area of life where I can honestly say, “I have done my best.”
This is not modesty. That is, I am not saying about my accomplishments, “Well I did pretty well but I can do better if I try harder.” Nor is it pride. I’m not saying, “Yeah, that was good but I am really better than that, I just had a bad day.” I am saying, “I have come short of the glory of God.” I have not been the person that God made me to be, and that I could have been, and it’s my fault.
I can go into all the “whys” of this, but it’s not relevant. In fact, my own opinion of my life is not relevant. What is relevant is the simple fact that God knows. He sees better than I do. Possibly he sees the places where I feel like I’ve failed the worst and he thinks, “Given circumstances, he did amazingly well.” And places where I’m thinking I did well, God says, “That could have been a lot better.” The point is that I can’t even judge myself correctly.
In reality, to say “I did my best” before God is to deny sin. It’s saying that we made the most of what God gave us. But the Bible tells us that we can never really say that. Paul says, “But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me” (1 Corinthians 4:3-4). If we continue reading that passage, we note that we are told not to judge beforehand, but wait until the Lord reveals things now hidden (things of the heart) and thereby rightly rewards people.
The point, really, is that God, knowing what we are, receives us as we receive Jesus. I feel relieved that instead of judging myself I can simply look at Jesus and relish his completeness and goodness. I do not have to judge my own heart. I believe and trust God to do it rightly and with mercy. But notice—in not judging myself (because I’m unable to even judge my own heart) I find myself more aware of the danger in judging others. If I intend to lean on God’s mercy then certainly I had better not deny it to others.
Does this lead to a lack of action, a passive view that it doesn’t matter what I do? Rather the opposite. I can go forward knowing that in one sense I cannot fail. As I look to Jesus, I know that I cannot screw up so badly that he cannot make something of it—as long as I give it to him and die to myself in the process. It is paralyzing to know that whatever you do you will be criticized for it—it will never be good enough. And by constantly asking ourselves, “Have I tried my best?” we can even paralyze ourselves asking a question that, ironically, we can’t answer. Instead, we walk in the light of the Lord, learning from him, working together as he shows us, and trusting him to judge with faithfulness and mercy.
– August 2012
Fred, did you really write this in August of 2012? Missed it then.
Yes I wrote it back then but I didn’t have a blog then. I wrote it for my church newsletter in a section called “The Last Word.” I’ve been posting these articles when I don’t get a blog post written in a particular week.