They left the library. The weather had cleared up. The air smelled fresh with a tinge of salt smell coming from off the bay. The trees still dripped a little. The remaining clouds rose like giant floating mountains in the sky, giving the world a dominant vertical theme and drawing eyes and heart upward. The air was cold and Julie shivered a little. Richard hesitantly reached out his arm and put it around her. She settled against his shoulder, her hair falling over his arm. “You’re warm,” she said.
Richard was almost too happy to speak. He had never put his arm around a girl before. He looked off in the west, where the sun was setting. “Looks like it’ll be a nice sunset tonight.”
Julie said, “I just realized that you’re the only man besides my father and brother who ever put his arm around me.”
Richard laughed. “It just hit me that you’re the only woman besides my mother that I’ve ever put my arm around.”
They decided to eat on the North Side. It was less crowded there. They walked up the hill and selected a restaurant that served sandwiches. When they finished it was beginning to get dark. The stars were coming out and most of the clouds were gone.
“Do you think we should go up there yet?” asked Julie.
“I think we should wait an hour or two. It’s still not very dark.”
“Maybe we can go back home and drop off our stuff. I’d like to get a warmer coat.”
Richard smiled. “Actually I like the one you’ve got.”
“It’s too thin and I get cold.”
“I know.”
Julie laughed. “Stop it,” she said, playfully pushing Richard away.
After dropping off their things and getting Julie a new coat, they began walking up towards the football stadium. They proceeded up behind it along dirt paths. It had gotten dark and starry. At this point Julie and Richard were not paying much attention to the possibility of ghosts. Both of them were thinking about what else might happen when they were alone together under the clear dark starry sky. They walked along the path Mike had described. They saw the tree.
Suddenly Julie felt icy cold. She looked at Richard, grabbing his arm. He seemed uneasy. “Do you feel it?” she asked.
“It’s cold, if that’s what you mean.”
Julie leaned against Richard, and he put his arm around her again, but not with any romantic intent. At that point they both wanted to be in contact with another warm, living human being.
They saw someone ahead. It was a woman standing next to a tree that overhung the hill. There was a rope around her neck. But she didn’t seem about to jump. Instead she looked at them angrily. As they walked slowly closer, their arms around each other, they saw her more clearly. Her face was twisted and withered. Her eyes were simply holes. Her mouth muttered, making what seemed to be the same sounds over and over again. Her face was pointed at them, projecting her hatred at them.
Without moving her arms or legs, the woman seemed to drift closer to them. Julie whispered “It’s her, the ghost.” Both of them felt the hair on the back of their necks stand up. Julie started shivering violently.
Richard agreed silently that this was something that seemed to be a ghost. She was formless, and misty, almost transparent. She was blown by some wind that they didn’t feel, so that she was always on the verge of dissipating. Somehow she held together, and Richard began to feel that it was her anger towards them that was keeping her from fading away.
“Hello, who are you?” said Richard.
The ghost floated closer. Suddenly she made a lunge at them, at the same time giving a horrible wailing screech. Her eyes and mouth seemed to open into gaping pits that sought to engulf them. Julie screamed and literally leaped against Richard, grabbing him with all her strength. Richard untangled her a little then grabbed her arm and pulled her away.
Richard had noticed one thing as the ghost lunged—she was brought up short by the rope around her neck. He wondered what would have happened if she had actually come in contact with them.
They ran along the dirt path back the way they had come. Julie was making soft panicky sounds and not really watching where she was going. Richard hung on to her arm and caught her several times as she stumbled. They ran, continuing after they were out of sight of her, until they reached the concrete streets.
They stood panting at the end of the dirt path, looking back warily. The wind had suddenly come up. The sky had gotten cloudy and fog was blowing past. Tree branches were shaking in the wind.
Julie looked at Richard with wide, frightened eyes. “Can you believe it?” she asked. “The ghost was actually there, and it came at us!”
She was still shaking. Her eyes were wide and not fixed on anything. Richard kept his arm around her, trying to warm her enough so that she would stop shivering.
“Come on, Julie,” he said. “Let’s get out of the wind and warm up.”
Julie nodded. They walked briskly. Julie didn’t say anything. She continued panting and shivering. Every now and then it seemed she would shudder as if she were crying or just shivering more intensely.
It took about a half-hour for them to reach Julie’s dormitory. “Come in, Richard,” she said. “I’m really scared. I don’t want to go to sleep now.”
They went into the dorm lounge. It was empty. They sat on a couch.
“Are you all right?” Richard asked.
“No, I’m not. I’m really scared,” Julie replied. “I didn’t know it would be like that.”
In the light Richard could see streaks of tears on her face. He sat there, just keeping his arm around her. He didn’t know what to say. Every now and then Julie would start shaking again, crying softly. Richard was worried. He realized that he knew nothing about the supernatural. He didn’t know what effects such raw contact would have on someone who wasn’t prepared. On the other hand, he wondered how anyone could prepare for something like that.
Finally Julie looked at Richard. She put an arm around his neck and put her head on his shoulder. She started crying softly out loud. After a while she seemed to get over it. “I thought it would be so neat,” she said. “But it was just horrible. It was like seeing nothing. Not nothing there, but nothing as an actual thing that was right there in front of me. It made me think how close to nothing I was, and how easily it could swallow me up and I’d be lost. I guess what I saw was hell. And I guess that ghost was in hell, or was hell, or something.”
“Maybe she brought it with her,” said Richard.
“What?”
“Well, I thought she was angry. Really really angry. For some reason she just hated us a lot. Maybe that’s what made her ugly and horrible. Maybe hell is just hating so much that you want to ruin everything.”
“Then heaven would be loving?”
“I guess so, if there is a heaven.”
“Sartre said that ‘hell is other people.’ If you’re right, then maybe heaven is other people as well.”
“It makes earth a lot nicer.”
Julie smiled through her tears. “I’m feeling better. But can we sit a while? I don’t want to be alone yet.”
After a while Julie fell asleep with her head on Richard’s shoulder. Then she half woke up. “Take me to my room, Richard.”
“OK.”
Richard helped her to the elevator and took her to the third floor. She went in to her room. Just before she closed the door, she put her arms around Richard’s neck and gave him a brief kiss.
“See you tomorrow,” said Richard.
“Oh, right,” said Julie sleepily. “Meet me here at 10:30, OK?”
“Sure. I’ll pick you up.”
Richard walked toward his dorm which was a couple blocks from Julie’s. He was too excited to be sleepy. His life had been changed in two ways—he now believed in the reality of the supernatural, and he believed that Julie loved him. He couldn’t decide which to turn his mind to first. The fact that Julie probably loved him was certainly more pleasant to think about. In fact he gladly would have just lay on his bed all night thinking about her.
But the experience with the ghost had a strange effect on his thoughts about love. Was the condition of that ghost one of the possible outcomes of love? If so, then love was more dangerous than he had ever thought.
And what about God? If there were ghosts, was there a God? Maybe there was no connection, but on the other hand, the very fact that supernatural phenomena existed meant that nothing could be ruled out. It was now clear that life after death was possible. But was it desirable? Would it be good to become like that ghost—unhappy and hateful forever? How did something like that happen? How did you avoid it? Was it a special case? Ghosts were not that common—or were they?
And what about Mike? What had he seen? His experience of the ghost had been completely different. Why? He had never seen her when the moon wasn’t full. But they had. Why? Was it the same ghost? How could one tell?
One thing occurred to Richard. What had happened tonight seemed of supreme importance. If life persisted beyond the normal 70 or so years, then perhaps the 70 years were just a way to get ready for the real thing. And if the effects of relationships in this life persisted into the next, then perhaps relationships were part of what it meant to get ready for the next life.
While mulling over these thoughts, Richard’s excitement finally left him all at once. He was suddenly very tired and soon fell asleep.