A Ghost Story: Chapter 10—Some Decisions

Dr. Hines said, “Mr. Syme, can you sit right here while I run a few tests on you?”

There was nervous laughter. Then Dr. Hines said, “Since the patient seems in no immediate danger, he’s probably as well off here as anywhere. But I will want to check on him. If this condition continues for too long it could become permanent. A day or two at most, then I’ll want to have him checked by specialists.”

They agreed and Dr. Hines left. They decided to keep a watch over Professor J, two at a time, while the rest slept. They all tried talking to him and talked near him when they talked to each other. This had no effect. Once or twice Professor J moaned on his own but that was the only sign he gave that he was experiencing anything at all.

Nobody was cheerful or comfortable. Even the ones sleeping were not able to sleep soundly, tossing and turning.

Finally the sun came up. Everyone was awake at once, nobody felt like even trying to sleep more. Professor J was still the same.

Mr. Syme took Mike aside. “Mike, you have to admit that it’s very likely Annie did this. That shows she’s capable of harm. The fact that she tried to attack your friends means that she may harm more than just Professor J. So I’m worried about you as well. She is obviously well disposed toward you. You can even say that she loves you, if you want. But for someone in her state it is hard to even know exactly what the word “love” means.”

“Well, if Richard and Julie hadn’t gone up there….”

“But you see, from what you said, Annie was waiting for Professor J. But he never came. She might even have decided to appear to you so word of her would get out, perhaps making Professor J curious.”

“I can’t believe that….And are you saying that now that she’s gotten her revenge, she won’t have any use for me?”

“It may be. And you are very attached to her. There’s a kind of symbiosis between the two of you, but perhaps not a fortunate one. She becomes more solid, perhaps more aware, because somehow you feed her life with yours. But she takes that life and uses it for evil purposes.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily call it evil. It sounds like Professor J deserved what he got.”

“A little harsh, aren’t you? After all, you don’t know what he’s going through now. Only a moan from time to time, but that would imply that he’s not too happy in there. And there is no escape or respite from your own thoughts.”

Mike pondered awhile. “What do you want me to do?”

“For now, prepare yourself. You may have to let her go. Besides that…do you pray?”

“No,” Mike replied, “not for a long time.”

“You might want to think about it. You are not enough to help Annie, if she can even be helped. You might want to find out if you can connect with someone who can do her some good in the long term.”

Mike thought about this. “A year ago I would have laughed when you said this. Two weeks ago I would have hedged. But after everything that’s happened, anything could be true.”

“Not anything,” said Mr. Syme, “and a big job of yours is to tell what could be true from what couldn’t. For example, it’s highly unlikely that Professor J’s spiritual situation offered him much protection. In a way, the same could be said for Annie. I can’t imagine she would have wanted to be where she is now. Isn’t peace, joy and love a much better place to be?”

Mike said, “You are a wise man, Mr. Syme, but you don’t really understand what has been going on between us. You said that I’m not enough for her. Maybe so but she is enough for me. Whatever it is between us, it’s meant to last forever. If it doesn’t, that’s too bad, but it should have.”

Mr. Syme chuckled. “I wonder what Richard would say if he heard you say that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, preachers have a fancy that people remember what they say in their sermons. I thought Richard might remember some of what I said yesterday that’s about what you just said. I agree that love tells us that we should be eternal. And we’re not. But we could be. And that’s the whole point. You and Annie are standing on some kind of cusp. On one side is an eternity of love, peace, joy, and glory. On the other side is, well, that.” Mr. Syme pointed at Professor J. “The fact that Annie can do that to somebody means she knows about it. At some level she is that herself even now.”

“But at some other level she’s the spirit girl whose beauty enchants me,” said Mike.

“Yes!” said Mr. Syme. “Exactly! She’s both—and neither yet. And to be honest I see the beauty fading and the horror growing. Because that’s always the way it is once the disease takes hold.”

“So basically, taking away all the fancy words, you’re saying that I need to get God in the picture if Annie’s going to get help.”

“Yes.”

“Well, why doesn’t God just step in and do something?”

“Do you want him to?”

“I..I don’t know.”

“There you are. If you want him in the picture, ask him. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t barge in when he’s not wanted. Oh—one more thing. Annie, I doubt she can ask God now. I think she’s probably not all there. But you know, I think this is why you are part of this situation. You can ask for her. Your love connects the two of you. So you can ask for her, and God will listen.”

Mike was silent for a minute. “If I do what you say I lose her,” he said.

“Yes.”

“But she lives.”

“Maybe.” Mr. Syme paused this time. “One more thing,” he said. “She’s got to forgive Professor J. She’s got to release him.”

Julie and Richard had been having their own talk. “Mike’s right, you know,” said Julie. “If the butterfly had flapped a little different, we wouldn’t be here now.”

“If I hadn’t gone with you….” Richard looked at Julie. “It’s all about love,” he said. “I came with you because, well….” Richard ran out of gas.

“Come on, buster, spit it out,” said Julie smiling.

“You’ve got a way with words,” laughed Richard.

“I still want to hear you say it.”

“I came because I love you.”

“I asked you because I love you,” said Julie.

Richard was stopped in his tracks for a while. Hearing her say it, even when he was already pretty sure it was true, made more difference than he expected. He looked at her, saying nothing.

“OK, don’t go all catatonic on me. I’m not the ghost, you know,” said Julie.

Richard chuckled. “Ok,” he said. “So there was our love just getting started. Then we ran smack into Mike and his love. But that was a kind of by-product of Annie’s love for Professor J.”

“So this is all about love. But why is it so ugly?”

“Well, I guess the question is which is more real, love or hate.”

“I know that speech Mr. Syme gave talked about this stuff, but I don’t remember what he said.”

“I think he said that love is supposed to be eternal but we die too soon.”

“But didn’t he say something about getting around that?”

“Yes, but I didn’t understand it. He got too complicated on me there.”

“OK, but think about it. Mr. Syme thinks it’s all about love. He thinks there’s a way to take the finite human love and make it last longer, maybe even forever. So whatever he’s saying ought to work in our situation somehow. Rich, I don’t want to be swallowed up by hate. It scares me. I’m not scared of the ghost any more. I’m scared because I think I could become just like her. If you left me, I might hate you the same way she hated Professor J.”

“Well I won’t leave,” said Richard.

“How can you say that? And anyway what if you get hit by a truck tomorrow?”

“But that’s not my fault! You can’t hate me for that!”

“But you wouldn’t be there, and you just promised you would be!”

“OK, I promise I’ll be there unless I get hit by trucks or stuff, or die of cancer or something I can’t anticipate. Do you want a full list of disclaimers?”

“How romantic,” said Julie. “Tell me that when you propose to me and I’ll sure know what to say.”

Richard was silent. A phrase suddenly came back to him. “The language of love is the language of eternity,” he said. “From Mr. Syme’s speech.”

“But it lies. He said that too.”

“Not on purpose, though.”

“Rich, this is silly. I know the answer. It’s God. At least that’s what Mr. Syme was trying to say. God’s eternal, we’re not. We want to love eternally but we can’t. But somehow God can make us able to love eternally.”

“I guess it has to do with eternal life,” said Richard.

“Well, it seems more like being put in touch with eternity, if you know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well, it’s not just living a long time. It’s like eternity becomes part of you, so that everything you do is eternal. So if I love you, I never stop.”

“But remember when we first met Mike? He said that our free will meant that everything we did matters a lot. This means that everything we do matters even more.”

“Scary. But Mike also said that God has the knowledge to make it work out.”

“Yes, that sounds about right. So what do you think. Are you up for it?”

Julie thought back on how she had looked down on Laurie. Then that night she had gotten the shock of her life, and that had knocked the stuffing out of her self-assured superiority.

“What about you?” she asked Richard.

“I think so,” he said. He suddenly realized that if Julie didn’t go along with it, he had to do it without her. He quailed at the thought.

“Me too,” Julie said, and Richard breathed a huge sigh of relief.

“OK, let’s go talk to Mr. Syme.”

They walked over just as he had finished talking to Mike. Richard said, “We’re ready to get that eternal life you were talking about.”